Wedding planned but bride%26#039;s family is inconvienced with the date...?
Flowers
If you are adult enough to get married, you are adult enough to suck it up and ask them what%26#039;s up. You MUST do this in person (not over the phone, by email, etc) so that you can see their faces when they respond to your question. If this is truly the case that they don%26#039;t want to take off of work, you are so much better off with them not being there.
Reply:well you have gave them plenty of notice so they can have there time off.My Son got married on a date that they had decided way before time and my Husbands family a few of them had made plans and was sticking to it and did not show up.I was very upset because they new the date before there plans was made.I got over it but I think they was very selfish.This was there Grandson But oh well they missed out on a Beautiful Bride and groom.This is a hard decision But it is your day .
Reply:Well, I went through this too. And I did change the date, once.... even though they kept asking me to change it again. I went from February to June. so pfffty on them. I totally regretted changing the date. They are still a lil pizzy about me not changing it again (it didnt work around their camping schedule. UGH dont ask)
But they did come around. Im getting married in 12 days now, instead of 4 months ago.
So I wouldnt worry about it If I were you. I%26#039;d keep the date you picked and set. Its your decision not theirs. Its YOUR wedding day, no body elses. Thats the one thing you have to remember, you will not please everyone and dont even try, or you%26#039;re going to stress yourself out.
They%26#039;ll be there, dont worry about it!
Reply:i know how u feel right now.. dont worry.. ask them why they r not supporting u.. or else just go ahaed with ur wedding.. since they r not supporting u there is no point in post ponding as theyw ill just find another reason for taht day.. where there is a wil there is a way. if they want to attend ur wedding they can come anytimed.. nothing can stop them.. but if they have decided not to coem.. they wont come.. nothing can make them come too
Reply:Don%26#039;t change the date and hope like crazy they will smarten up.
Reply:don%26#039;t change the date
your a grown woman
if your change the date then your family will always expect you to change your plans for the rest of your life (example Christmas ,Thanksgiving etc..)
If they choose not to come its their loss
Reply:Don%26#039;t change a thing. When they complain tell them you are sorry they won%26#039;t be able to attend, that they will be missed. If they really want to come, they will find a way.
Reply:NO...do not postpone it!!!! This is your family and they won%26#039;t even take off work to come and see you get married?!?! That B.S.I would go ahead with YOUR wedding planning and tell them if they love you they will be there and if they don%26#039;t they won%26#039;t. If they don%26#039;t show I don%26#039;t believe I would speak to them anymore. That is sooo Selfish of them!!!
Reply:This is YOUR day, not theirs. They should be supportive of you and they should respect you enough to talk to you. Don%26#039;t change your date. Try to talk to them and if you can%26#039;t, then just hope they will be there. Just remember the wedding is for YOU and your husband, no one else. Make it about YOU.
Reply:If your family is unsupportive, I would guess a change in date wont change that. Do your wedding whenever it makes you the happiest.
Reply:I am in the same situation with my fiancee. Our wedding is planned for the saturday before Christmas.
This is the way that I see it... if it is an inconvenience to them, then they do not have to come. If they wanted to support us and to celebrate with us then they will make the arrangements; if they b*tch and moan, then I dont want them there with their negative energy to ruin what will undoubtedly be one of the happiest days in our lives.
Reply:No, don%26#039;t change the date. Your family is being selfish %26amp; unreasonable...honey, you stick to your plans and hopefully (and more than likely) your family will come to their senses. Especailly your mom...do they not like your fiance%26#039; for some reason?
Good luck %26amp; congrats sweetie!!
Reply:Regretfully, money is ALWAYS a deciding factor, and I think that the only way that holiday time-frame weddings work is if the majority of family members and friends are in the local area (because then it won%26#039;t require extra money and time for travel so close to the big shopping season).
Unfortunately, the only way I could see this working out is if you move your date.
I%26#039;ve been there, so am speaking from experience. We got married on December 30, and the only people who came were my folks because we live in the same town.
Good luck.
Reply:This is your day. Hold your wedding when it pleases you.
I hate to say this but, it sounds to me like your family doesn%26#039;t want to be a part of your celebration.
I think it%26#039;s inconsiderate that your mother and sister cannot talk to you about this. I have never heard anyone say they won%26#039;t come to a wedding because they don%26#039;t want to miss work. What is wrong with them?
Best of luck to you.
Reply:Maybe if you try to talk to each of the ones in question, directly, your sister, your niece, and your mom, and just ask them straight out. Tell them you%26#039;ve been planning this for awhile now, and that certain things are %26#039;set in stone%26#039; since I%26#039;m sure some of those bookings are non-refundable. It could be that your dad has some wrong information. If not, this could force them into telling you what their %26#039;issues%26#039; are.
Reply:Do not change the date! It%26#039;s unfortunate that you don%26#039;t have a very supportive family, if what your dad said is true. You must be deeply hurt about this because honestly, 7 months is more than a fair notice. My advice would be for you to talk directly to your sister and ask her if what her father told you was true. If she says yes, then say you%26#039;re very sorry she won%26#039;t be attending. Be brief with her, but strong. Also, call your mother and tell her that you are very sorry that she also will not be attending. Ask someone else to be your bridesmaid and don%26#039;t worry about a flower girl. If your own sister won%26#039;t take some time off work to be there for you, then she is not the one you should be calling a bridesmaid. It sounds like your family wants you to work around their schedules when in fact they should be joyfully willing to work around this one day that is important to you. Please do not change this date. It will be impossible for you to work around everyone%26#039;s schedule and you shouldnt%26#039; have to.
Reply:Darling... I%26#039;m sorry you%26#039;re going through this. I understand. I changed MY date 4 times trying to accomodate people. I finally quit. Keep your date and move forward. If they choose not to be a part of your celebrations, then choose an alternate to stand in for your sister. After all, it%26#039;ll be their loss, not yours. Have a wonderful time and I will pray that their hearts will soften and they will come around. GOD bless you! And congratulations.
Reply:I can%26#039;t believe your own family is doing this to you and causing you so much grief. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. What I find Really odd is that they both are using the same excuse... real fishy.
If it were me, I%26#039;d talk with my sister first and ask her if she is going to stand with you or not because if she isn%26#039;t, you need to find someone else to be your maid of honor. Be firm and don%26#039;t let her try to get you to change things for her because she has plenty of time to make plans with her employer for this moment in your life. I would also ask her why she didn%26#039;t come and talk with you personally rather than hide behind your dad.
Then I would talk with mom and ask her why she couldn%26#039;t come and tell you herself rather than have your dad do her dirty work and let her know that you love her and want her there to share your special day but you aren%26#039;t going to change the date because too many people from out of town are already planning on being there.
Let her know you already have things in motion and have alot to do yet so you aren%26#039;t changing it and you hope she will reconsider and be there to support you as you start your new life.
I sure hope your dad is going to walk you down the aisle and not back out on you. But if he does, you can do what I did.
My parents were both deceased when I married so I had my fiance go to the front with the minister to wait and after the girls filed in with their escorts, he came back and escorted me down the aisle. Just a thought if you need it :)
I didn%26#039;t let anyone know what I was doing so most everyone thought I was going down the aisle by myself... everyone liked the way I chose to do that because it was different and very touching as he took my hand and looked me in the eye before we headed to the front.
Reply:Keep the date. If your mother and sister really want to come they will take the time off work. It is a good idea to have it close to the holiday this way you be together for the holiday. That seems to work out best for family that lives far from the wedding.
Best Wishes on the wedding and the marriage.
Reply:dont postphone it....talk to your mom and sisters and tell them that you wont postphone it. it%26#039;s just one day of work, can%26#039;t they miss it for THIER FAMILY MEMBER%26#039;S MOST IMPORTANT DAY IN HER LIFE????!!!! go ahead as scheduled...tell them that if they don%26#039;t want to be there at your wedding, then tell them not to come. It%26#039;s your day and if they don%26#039;t want to come, don%26#039;t let them come...oh yeah and tell them that your not resheduling becasue the their not paying for the wedding!!! and tell them that your hurt that their not coming. im sorry, but if they really really love you, i%26#039;m sure that they would come...oh yeah and tell you family that they are bitches becasue they have no damed guts to tell a to-be-bride that they weren%26#039;t coming....Noooooo..your DAD told you...hey what can i say??! continue with the wedding, go for it!!!! im sure your dad%26#039;s coming...also i think you should speak to your dad about what you feel...GOOD LUCK!!! I HOPE YOUR BOYFRIEND AND YOU HAVE AN AWESOME MARRIAGE!!! %26lt;3
Reply:Who is marrying, you or the family? If you bend now you will bend 4ever!
Reply:Do not change the date, it%26#039;s your special day, you and your fiance are paying for it so it%26#039;s entirely up to you guys. Your mom and sister are being totally unreasonable, i mean the weddings not until December, how hard would it be to miss one day of work. They should be supportive of you, most moms would bend over backwards to attend their daughters wedding. Your sister is your maid of honor, thats one of the most important roles in a wedding and she%26#039;s saying she%26#039;s not gonna come because of work. It sounds as if your family have problems with the marriage itself, do they approve of your fiance? You really need to speak to them about this, they should understand that this is your special day, if they can%26#039;t understand this, then i%26#039;m sorry but the problem is much deeper than taking the day off work.
Good Luck and Congrats, i really hope that everything works out for you.
Reply:Are they ok w/ the marriage itself?? or have they expressed a dislike to your future husband?? If they don%26#039;t care for him, this is probably their way of saying they don%26#039;t want any part of it...I would sit down w/ them and discuss what is really going on...
Reply:This sounds like an odd reason not to want to attend a wedding. It%26#039;s Christmas time people usually clamor to take off because people want to see their family and friends and do some pre holiday shopping. I%26#039;d talk to both of them myself and see if something else wasn%26#039;t going on. My mother would have happily taken off work to see me get married if she liked the groom to be. If she didn%26#039;t she would still do it and I wouldn%26#039;t have heard about it till long after the wedding.
Reply:Dont change the date. Your family should love you enough to take off for the wedding. For goodness sakes you have given them enough advance notice so they can arrange the time off from work. If you mean so little to them that they dont want to do that, then why would you give them any consideration by changing the date. Even if you changed the date what%26#039;s to say they still wont want to take off from work then too. I think you need to speak to both of them and tell them how you feel and ask them if work is really more important to them than hurting you. It may sound immature, but you should tell them this is going to cause a rift in the family and you will never forgive them, because believe me you wont, or it will takes years before you get over this hurt. Do they really want to cause you this much pain? Just be upfront and honest with them. If they still wont come, then go ahead as scheduled and do the best to enjoy your day. Congrats on your marriage.
Reply:That%26#039;s too bad. You%26#039;d expect your family to be excited for you and do anything to be there. (My mom was on an extended trip until about a week before my wedding and didn%26#039;t help me plan it at all, and I know how hurt I felt. She basically just showed up like any other guest.)
I wouldn%26#039;t change your date. You know what? Whatever date you pick is not going to be %26quot;perfect%26quot; for everyone. It%26#039;s your wedding! If your maid of honor, your SISTER, for crying out loud, doesn%26#039;t want to take off work, I%26#039;d tell her, fine, and find another maid of honor. When my best friend was married in California, I made arrangements for my mom to take care of my 3-year-old and flew from Florida to be there. I wouldn%26#039;t have missed it for anything.
I%26#039;d talk to your mom and sis and let them know how hurt you feel by their less-than-enthusiastic attitudes. If they don%26#039;t come, they%26#039;ll wind up regretting it, but there really isn%26#039;t much you can do. Some people value close family ties, and some don%26#039;t.
Reply:That is very rude of them. They can take off work for one day! I would call them and talk to them personally about it. They may change their tune when put on the spot. If they really want to be there, and they should, they will take off work and be there. Don%26#039;t rearrange your plans for a few people who aren%26#039;t supportive of you. Sorry you have to deal with this. Good luck with all the planning and congrats!
Reply:Keep your date. If this is your family they should make it their business to be there, and you should tell them such. Let them know that if they are not there, you will be incredibly hurt and disappointed. Also let them know that your relationships with them afterwards will never be the same. If they still decide not to show up then there is nothing you can do. They will use the work excuse any time of year. Remember, you pick your friends, not your family. Sometimes we get stuck with a not so ideal family.
Reply:I know how much you want your family to be there, but it doesn%26#039;t sound like they want to be there. This is your day and no one should take that away from you. Plenty of notice has been given to your family. If they do not wish to come, shame on them for being so selfish. I would keep everything how it is. I bet they will show up! I wish you the best of luck as you begin a new stage of your life.
Reply:that is really mesed up of them!!!
this is your and your future husbands day.
you shouldnt re-schedule because they are not being considerate of your happiness.
id talk to them and find out what the real problem is.
its just not right of them
Reply:Take comfort in knowing you%26#039;re not the first this has happened to,nor will you be the last
Is changing the date really the issue here? I have a feeling that even if you changed the date, they will find a reason
not to like your new date either.
If work is an issue, everyone is ALWAYS busy at work. It sounds more like an excuse than a legit reason for not coming.
So don%26#039;t change a thing!!!
Actually part of getting married is leaving the cleaving instinct
of your own family. Your husband is NOW your priority, your family is second. You need to step up and show your husband, he is more important to you, than your family.
I do have a feeling, when the date gets closer, they will somehow find a way to be there.
Just don%26#039;t plan on them being there, and you%26#039;ll be ok.
Remember your husband, is NOW your priority!!!.
You are committed to him
It does sound like, your family is trying to take a degree of control of you life, They still may think of you as their little girl, which is fine, but not to the point of controlling you.
Be aware,after you%26#039;re married, their attempts to try and contol
your relationship may very well continue.
You are now commited to your husband, Let them know it!acting resources
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